


Fat, Salt, and "Cheese"

by overused_underrated



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angel & Demon Interactions, Beezie (Good Omens), Beezie the Fly (Good Omens) - Freeform, Bureaucracy, Comfort Food, Falling In Love, First Dates, Food, Food Porn, God Ships Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), God is a shipper, Hell Trauma, Idiots in Love, Ineffable Bureaucracy (Good Omens), Ineffable Idiots (Good Omens), Nonbinary Beelzebub (Good Omens), Nonbinary Character, Other, Past Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens), Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Post-Apocalypse, Ruler of Hell, Snacks & Snack Food, They/Them Pronouns for Beelzebub (Good Omens), Top Beelzebub (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:53:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/overused_underrated/pseuds/overused_underrated
Summary: Gabriel was preparing for the Great War, well... preparing again. As he ran through the park, he noticed the Prince of Hell enjoying themselves. So, he decided to thwart their wiles and somehow ended up at a rundown diner with a plate of sketchy eggs in front of him and a giant fly next to him.This...was not how today was supposed to go.
Relationships: Beelzebub & Gabriel (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 72





	Fat, Salt, and "Cheese"

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ZealouslyMinki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZealouslyMinki/gifts).



> I wrote this as a gift for my wonderful girlfriend when she wasn't feeling good. 
> 
> I'm so glad you like it, my love

The sun shone bright in the sky. It was hot, but there was a gentle breeze blowing softly. It swept across the sky, rustling the leaves in its wake. The Prince wasn’t used to such fine weather. Hell was notorious for being either burning hot or freezing cold. Not like it mattered- they’d lost most of their nerve endings during The Fall. But this...this was nice. Pleasant. Far different from their normal. 

“What are you doing here?”

Beelzebub opened their eyes. There was Gabriel, in his boring track-suit getup. “Planning world domination. You?”

The archangel’s brow furrowed.“Cardio.” 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “That iz  _ sooo _ much worzze!” they retorted with a laugh. It was genuine- something unfamiliar to Gabriel. 

“Worse than ‘world domination’? I don’t think so…” Gabriel was still standing before the Prince. It was an awkward sight, as he had an easy six inches on the Prince to begin with, and now he had an extra few inches with them sitting on a park bench. The angel anxiously rocked onto his heels before taking a seat beside them.

“What are you doing?” they spat. They didn’t do so harshly, just their usual “pissed off” manner. 

“Sitting,” he said, in a  _ matter of fact _ tone. He didn’t have a good excuse, so he said the best one he could think of, “Makes us look less suspicious.” 

Beelzebub was amused, though their voice didn’t reveal it. “You’re an archangel and I’m the Prince of Hell.  _ Everything _ about us is suspicious. Not like the human’s care. They don’t notice these types of things.” 

“Of course they don’t! We’re ethereal- well,  _ I’m _ ethereal. Built in cloaking device. Needed to use it ever since Mary. Humans are too...excitable.” He turned to the Prince, “It’s pathetic.”

Beelzebub arched an eyebrow. “You think humans are ‘pathetic’?  _ You? The archangel Gabriel _ ?” They laughed. They laughed a full, belly-aching laugh. A look of fear swept across Gabriel’s face. 

“What?! No! It’s not like that!” he stammered. It was of no use. Beelzebub was doubled over, tears streaming down their face, laughing more than a hyena. “Stop it!” Lucky for them, their corporations didn’t need to breathe, because the Prince hadn’t taken a breath in over two minutes. Gabriel’s face was glowing pink in both anger and humiliation. “They’re gonna notice us now, you ding-bat!”

Beelzebub didn’t care. This was too good. When they finally did breathe in, some of the air got stuck in their throat, causing them to cough. They laughed through the coughs, wiping tears from their eyes. “Oh, man...that was good!” During this guard-dropping moment, Beelzebub had leaned into the archangel unconsciously; his fixed posture made him a good thing to lean on. When they realized just how much they were on Gabriel, they quickly recoiled away.  _ Ugh...stupid angel.  _ Beelzebub took a deep breath, avoiding Gabriel’s eyes as they adjusted their sash. “In the old dayz, you coulda fallen for that ...probably would have, too.”

_ That _ struck a chord in Gabriel. “Yeah...probably.” The two sat in the uncomfortable quiet for longer than they each would have cared to. Silence found a home between them, unfurling itself so deeply, they could feel it filling their lungs. How long would they allow themselves to be like this? Awkwardly waiting for the other to take the next step...

Beelzebub was feeling bold. “So...cardio, huh?” 

_ The sound of ice rattled in both of their ears _ . 

“Yeah...gotta stay in shape for the war. It’s coming, you know. And we will win.” 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “No...iz not. The war iz off for a long time. The Antichrist rejected both Heaven and Hell. Iz going to be awhile before He triezz again.”

Gabriel let out a small sigh of relief and then felt a twinge of guilt. He wanted the war to happen. He wanted Heaven to win. So, why did this make him the tiniest bit happy?

“Relax...iz ok to not want the war. Thiz world izn’t all bad…” Beezie let out a reassuring  _ bzz _ . Gabriel shuddered. The giant fly was a thing to get used to. 

“It’s not that I don’t  _ want _ the war to happen. I just...I don’t know.” He looked at the Prince, topped with the fly whose eyes were now faintly glowing. Beezie let out a quiet, growling  _ bzz _ with the new eye contact.

“Don’t antagonize him...he’ll get all riled up and mess up my hair.”

Gabriel threw his hands in the air in defense. “I didn’t do anything! I just looked at him!”

“You’re an archangel. That’z all it takez,  _ dumbass _ .” Beelzebub smirked. They enjoyed calling Gabriel that whenever they could; “dumbass” was one of the few words that didn’t get muddled when they spoke. 

“Yeah, whatever  _ flybait _ ..” Gabriel huffed, crossing his arms. He slumped back into the bench, turning away from the Prince. “So...world domination?”

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “Well, I waz. Until you showed up. I don’t need you learning of my planz.  _ You’ll thwart me, then… _ ” The sarcasm coated their words like cheese sauce on fries...which sounded really good right about now. “I’m gonna get some food..wanna come with?”

Gabriel blinked in amazement. “Me?”

Another eye roll from the Prince. “Is there another annoying archangel here?  _ No? _ Then, come on!” They stood, taking a minute to stretch their legs and back. Even though they were short, the ceilings in Hell weren’t exactly spacious. 

Gabriel thought for a minute. Did he really want to spend more time with a demon? And not just  _ any _ demon, the literal  _ Prince of Hell.  _ “Sure. Fine.” He stood, uncertain of what he had just agreed to.

“It’z just food. It’s not gonna kill you. Besides, it’s probably gonna be better than any  _ honey wine and ambrosia _ you’ve got in Heaven,” Beelzebub teased, as they began walking. 

Gabriel followed willingly. “Human food is disgusting.” Beelzebub turned and mimicked Gabriel as the angel followed with, “I won’t sully the temple of my celestial body with gross matter.” He stopped and frowned. “Not funny.” 

“Oh, contraire,  _ dumbass _ . It’s very funny. And beside- that’s the point! Humans cover everything in fat, salt, and cheese. Delicious!” Beezie let out a happy, agreeing  _ bzz-bzz! _ The Prince looked up, “That’s right!” They turned their attention back to the archangel, who was still upturned from the mocking and the thought of eating. “Come on! Two to three, you lose.” The Prince grabbed his hand and led them on, continuing out of the park. Beelzebub thought of it as forcing the angel into a foreign and uncomfortable situation. Gabriel blushed as his brain processed what was actually happening: Beelzebub was holding his hand. 

The Prince led them out of the park and down a street. Realizing Gabriel was right beside them [he did, after all, have very long legs], Beelzebub let go of his hand. “It’s down this way. Two more streets.” 

Gabriel didn’t argue. He was still reeling from the demon’s grip. Normally, he’d expect them to be sticky or foul smelling, but much to his surprise, they were soft. And..warm. Pink remained on the apples of his cheeks as he tried to refocus.  _ It’s nothing. No big deal. Thwarting a demon, is all. Right, Mother…? _

After a few minutes of silent walking, besides Beezie purring in excitement, the Prince decreed, “Here we are!” The celestial pair were outside a _very_ _old_ and mostly forgotten burger joint. Beelzebub proudly led the way into the dilapidated restaurant. The floor was dingy and stained, almost as if it hadn’t been cleaned since the place opened. A handful of square tables littered the floor, each one caked with gum underneath them. Round, metal stools sat empty, partnered to the tables, every one of them empty. The rest of the room was covered in god-awful booths. The vinyl padding was riddled with holes, revealing mustard yellow stuffing that had seen better days. Dim phosphorescent lights hung from the ceiling, somehow making the atmosphere seem darker than it was. A young, twenty-something year old was sitting at a counter top bar, scrolling on her phone when the two walked in. She looked up when the bell hanging off the door announced their arrival.

Every muscle in Gabriel’s body tensed. The hair on his neck stood on end. “ _ This _ is where you wanted to go?” he asked, not realizing how harsh his tone was. 

Beelzebub turned with a big smile on their face. “Yes. As a matter of fact. Hey, Maggie!” they hollered to the girl. She turned off her phone and went to greet them. 

“Heyyy, Beez. Lookin’ good!” the waitress replied. She was wearing a uniform straight from 1962. Some things never change. Maggie looked at the fly and her face lit up. “Beezie!! Welcome back, bud!” 

He wiggled on Beelzebub’s head as he gave a very happy  _ bzz-bzz! _ Beezie nuzzled into the Prince’s scalp before flying and cozying up to Maggie. He happily  _ bzz _ -ed at her touch, as he nestled into her loving embrace. 

“You brought a friend, I see. Table for two?” she said, with a bit of a  _ I see you, girl _ smirk. 

“Mortal enemy, but yes,” they happily replied. Gabriel rolled his eyes at the remark. Beelzebub wasn’t wrong, though. They were enemies. Bound forever by their positions. 

Maggie grabbed two menus and brought them to one of the cleaner tables. “Mike’s in the kitchen today, so avoid anything with eggs.” 

Beelzebub nodded. “Won’t make that mistake again…” Gabriel looked concerned, as if he had never went to a run-down restaurant with a history of bad food and cases of poisoning whose few chefs each come with their own set of culinary restrictions. 

Beezie was still loving up on Maggie’s shoulder and into her neck. “What can I getcha to drink?” 

“Jack and coke for me and an Irish coffee for him.” Beelzebub turned to the archangel, who was about to protest. “Relax. It’s coffee. I  _ know _ you’ve had that before…” Gabriel had a war flashback to the first time he had coffee. He made the mistake of letting Sandalphon make it. Angels don’t need to sleep- but if they did- Gabriel wouldn’t have slept for three days, it was so strong. Beelzebub at the time, may or may not have received a letter from the archangel asking what death feels like for a corporation. The Prince laughed and ignored him. 

“Look at the menu, dumbass. Try something! I _ dare  _ you _ …”  _ Beelzebub knew that such threats didn’t work on Gabriel, but they enjoyed taunting him nonetheless. 

Gabriel looked at the menu. It was caked in old coffee splashes, bits of dirt and grime, and was filled with typos. It displeased him greatly.  _ Everything _ about this place displeased him; there was nothing stopping him from going, but he didn’t leave. “Is this a new circle of Hell?” he asked with disdain, but he wasn’t bitter. 

Beelzebub closed the menu and looked at Gabriel. “I like it here ‘cause it feels like home.” It was an honest, meaningful answer. 

“That’s a little sad, isn’t?” Gabriel closed his menu with a sigh and grabbed a handful of napkins. He wiped away the filmy residue from his hands as Beelzebub answered him, their brow a bit furrowed.

“Hell isn’t necessarily a  _ great place _ to be, Gabe. We do what we can to make it ours, but at the end of the day, it’s still Hell. It will  _ always _ be Hell, no matter how hard we try.” The archangel stopped fidgeting. He looked at Beelzebub, through their dirt and grime.  _ They were an angel once… _

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped from his mouth with sincerity, but Beelzebub wasn’t having it. 

“I don’t want your pity..”

It was then that Maggie returned with their drinks, which were more alcohol than mixer. “So...what’ll it be?” 

Beelzebub smiled. “Number two burger with extra onion and extra cheesy fries. Oh! And a choco-blast shake.” 

Beelzebub handed her the menu and was gifted the fly in exchange. “And for you?” she asked, turning to Gabriel. 

“Umm…” Beelzebub looked at him, without glaring. Gabriel liked the sight of it. “The eggy in a basket?” It came out as a question, not an answer. 

“You sure, hon?” she questioned nervously. Eggs were not in season today. 

“Oh, he’s sure,” Beelzebub confirmed, their face bearing a sick grin. “Also get him a side of onion rings. He’s gonna need it.” Beezie found a home under the Prince’s hand and began purring as Beelzebub gently began to pet long strokes down his back. 

Gabriel handed Maggie his menu, his eyes a bit wide in fear. “Thank you.” The young girl nodded uncomfortably, but did as requested. She went to the service window and read off the order to a rather tired looking chef. He grunted and threw a hand towards her, demanding the ticket. Maggie handed it over and gladly found her bar stool and returned to her phone. 

Gabriel looked at the bulbous, purring insect in front of him. “How long have you had that thing?” he asked, pointing at Beezie. 

“Long as I can remember.” Beezie growled at the archangel. He did not appreciate the finger in his personal space. “Careful, you might lose that,” she joked. Gabriel, not wanting to risk mutilation, folded his arms. He eyes fell onto the drink he didn’t want. “Try it.” He looked up at the Prince. “It’z not gonna bite. I promise.”

Gabriel shifted in his chair. He did  _ not _ want to drink it. But there was something in the Prince’s plea. Something that made him consider it. He took a deep breath and braced himself. The archangel gently wrapped his hand around the mug, letting the warmth seep into his skin. He smelled it; the scent of cheap coffee beans and liquor filled his nose. Gabriel took one more look at it, the cream coated bubbles that graced the top and took a sip. 

Beelzebub was impressed. They didn’t think he’d do it. “So….how iz it?”

“Creamy,” he mumbled, liquid falling from his mouth and onto the table. Beezie jumped into the air, flying above the table for fear of getting wet. The archangel Gabriel forgot he needed to swallow. 

“AGH! YOU DUMBASS!” Beelzebub screeched. They had never been a fan of getting wet, but getting wet because of angelic stupidity? Even worse. “Maggie, napkins!” 

The young girl sprang up and ran behind the counter, fetching a fistful of napkins. She brought them to the two beings, not entirely sure what had just happened. “Are you ok?”

Gabriel took the napkins and began blotting up his mouth-liquid. “Yes, sorry. Just a little throat trouble. I’m fine, thank you.” Once the table was decently dried, Maggie took the clump of soiled towels and went into the kitchen. 

“Way to go,  _ Archangel… _ ” The words stung more than anticipated, but Beelzebub didn’t apologize. Beezie returned to Beelzebub’s head, not wanting to risk getting sticky. The fly didn’t have a problem with being sticky in general, but sticky plus Gabe did not mix. 

“It was an accident! I haven’t had to do that in nearly three thousand years!” 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. Typical Gabe. “You should apologize to Beezie. You disturbed his rest.”

Gabriel’s face fell. “I’m not apologizing  _ to the fly _ .” Beezie let out an angry  _ bzzzz _ . “You. Are. A. FLY! Don’t you love sticky stuff?!” Gabriel had a point, but neither the Prince nor their fly was going to give the angel any credit. 

Beelzebub crossed their arms and leaned back. “So...are you gonna remember to swallow your eggs, or should I get a poncho?” They brandished a proud smirk. Gabriel let out a huff. 

“Listen, flyboy…” Gabriel almost smiled at that. He liked how it sounded. Beezie did too. The little bugger lifted his head in amazement at the archangel. For once, he didn’t want to bite him (the little thing did, however, want his scarf. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a part of the angel’s jogging attire). “You try not doing something for as long as I’ve gone and see how easy it is to remember something little, hmm?” It was not a compelling argument, as Gabriel was only carrying it out due to spite. Had he cared enough, it was possible he could have swayed the Prince’s mind. 

Beelzebub chuckled at the attempt. “Whatever…” they said coyly and with an eye roll. When was the last time they enjoyed themselves this much? And with an angel nonetheless… “So, what big planz does the Almighty have to help bring about the war  _ again… _ ?”

“Well, to be honest...there hasn’t been any word from Her. Not really..” Gabriel loosened himself up a bit. He leaned back, just a little; the metal squeaked under his shifting weight. After a few seconds of silence, Gabriel took another sip of coffee- this time, he remembered to swallow. The caffeine and liquor found a home in his empty stomach and a warmth grew in the angel’s belly. He smiled at the sensation. 

“Lookz like you can teach an old dog new trickz.” The words came from the still-there smirk, but it disappeared as Beelzebub continued. “So. No word from  _ the great one above _ and nothing from our Master below...do you think that’z it?”

Gabriel stared off into space for a minute, his gaze falling on Beelzebub’s lapel. “I...don’t know.” He looked up at the Prince, his voice revealing a bit of fear, “I really don’t know.” 

The two sat and processed the future’s uncertainty; silence took a seat at the table, but was distracted from the racket coming from the kitchen. It wasn’t long before a loud  _ ding! _ and an “Order up!!” was screamed that the phantom guest dissipated. Maggie sprang from her seat and grabbed the food from the hot plate. The young girl carefully loaded up her arms and delivered the piles of fat and grease to the anticipating diner(s). 

“Alright...burger and cheese fries for you, love. An extra plate for Beezie,” she said, winking to the fly. Beezie gave a happy  _ bzzzz!! _ in excitement. He even did a little body wiggle. “And an eggy-in-a-basket for you with a side of onion rings.” Maggie put the plate in front of Gabriel and quickly squatted next to him. She whispered, “I’d say a little prayer before you eat that, love.” The girl stood and her voice returned to its normal pitch and intonation, “And I’m going to grab your milkshake. Anything else I can get ya?” 

Beelzebub happily shook their head  _ no.  _ “Thank you, Maggie.” The Prince moved a handful of fries onto the plate and placed it at the adjacent seat. “There you go, Beezie.” The fly let out a high pitched  _ bzz _ and quickly flew to find his spot on the table. Gabriel watched in horror as Beezie happily picked up a fry, spit up a tiny bit of acid, and began to munch away. “What? You never seen a fly eat before?” Beelzebub poked. Maggie returned with Beelzebub’s milkshake and quickly retreated to the kitchen.

“Not to this scale…” Gabriel looked down at his plate and didn’t understand why the waitress suggested prayer. Much like swallowing, he forgot her warning about getting eggs. 

“Dig in,” the Prince said, happily picking up a  _ very _ greasy and dripping burger before taking a monstrous bite. They were small, but they had a killer appetite and a big mouth. Beelzebub closed their eyes and savored the moment; the ends of their mouth curled as their cheeks puffed. This was a sweet, well deserved reward for having to quell the fleet of angry demons and the mountain of paperwork that followed. When they opened their eyes, they found Gabriel watching them with a smile. They mumbled, their mouth still full, “ _ What?! _ Ya weirdo..” 

“I don’t understand how you can enjoy such... _ depravity _ to your being. But, you look happy.” Beelzebub didn’t know how to process such a kind statement or how to form a response, so they didn’t. Instead, they took another big bite and turned their attention to Beezie, who was a content little fly, crunching away on one of Gabriel's onion rings. A hint of pink nipped at the tips of their ears and at the nape of their neck. 

The archangel smiled again, and then removed his silverware from the napkin wrapping. Beelzebub turned and watched as Gabriel awkwardly cut his toasted “sandwich.” He made a face in abhorrence as the still slightly-raw yolk ran from its breach point and spilled onto the rest of his toast. The angel closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and ate a bite. Gabriel chewed and chewed and chewed, trying to process the varying textures of the over-toasted bread, soft egg white, and liquidy yolk. He swallowed and saw Beelzebub watching him. “..it’s not that bad,” he admitted, not happy with the answer. 

A smile returned to the Prince’s face. “Ha! See? All you had to do was trust me!” they said, triumphantly. 

“Easier said than done. Well, no. Both are difficult. And though I hate to admit it, you were right.” 

Beelzebub put down their burger. Beezie  _ almost _ put down their fry, but he did look at the angel. “What?”

Gabriel scrunched his face in displeasure. “You heard me.” 

The Prince was not letting this go. “No, no, no... _ clearly _ , I didn’t! Did you just say ‘ _ I was right _ ’?”

The angel didn’t want to feed into Beelzebub’s ego, but he also couldn’t lie. He nodded his head and took another bite of egg. 

The demon did a happy little dance in delight. They laughed and began to taunt him. “I was right. I was ri-ight!” They turned to the fly. “Hear that, Beezie?  _ I _ was right!” Beezie wiggled and made a happy  _ buzz buzz  _ that was both a congratulations to Beelzebub and a ‘haha, suck it!’ to Gabriel. 

“Seriously? Don’t bring the fly into this. This,” he motioned between the two of them, “this is good.  _ That _ ,” he pointed at Beezie, “is a little demon. All he does it mock me!” 

Beezie let out a little  _ bzzt _ , the equivalent of a raspberry, at the angel. “Sorry- we’re a package deal. One regular sized demon and a fun, travel-size version. Sold as a set, no exclusions.” They were a bit too smug, considering the Prince didn’t fully process what Gabriel just said. That he was happy being with them. 

Gabriel took another sip of coffee. “Well, I’ll need more of these then,” he said, raising his cup a bit before returning it to the table. No complaints. No jokes. He was serious. 

Beelzebub pushed past this new realization and began to work on their cheese fries. Oil-soaked, crinkle cut potatoes flooded with thick, neon orange, straight from a can cheese. The burger was good, but  _ this _ is what they had been craving. Cheese sauce coated their fingers as they continued to eat. A smile remained on their face the entire time, and they could see Gabriel was smiling at them more. His cheeks tinted rose. “Want one?” they offered, extending a cheese riddled fry limply in their fingers. 

Gabriel looked at it, perplexed for a moment. It looked worse than sushi. “Sure,” he said, taking it from Beelzebub. The angel took a bite, feeling the salt, grease, and “cheese” coat his tongue. His eyes went wide. “Those...are really good.” 

“Right?! They’re my favorite! I always try to get some when I come up.” The demon rotated their plate, putting the fries further away from them and closer to Gabriel. He was surprised at the gesture. An offering, almost. Beelzebub did it without thinking. They then took a rather naked looking fry and dipped it into their milkshake. Gabriel followed their lead and nodded in agreement. Chocolate shake and fries: a good combination. 

The two celestial beings sat and ate together, happily sharing each other’s company. It quickly became clear that they had no difficulty in finding conversation. Since the Fall, neither had really spoken to the other. They were on different sides. Beelzebub had fought hard during the revolution and rose through the ranks; it was their dedication that make them become the number two in Hell. That was not someone an archangel could become associated with. Well, not in the old days. But now...the world was different. 

With his high-ranking status, Gabriel was entrusted with keeping an eye on Earth, though he hardly enjoyed it. That’s why the ground position was created-  _ Oh, well, Mother... There are so many aspects to helping ensure that good will prevail. I want to succeed, but I’m afraid I can’t do it all. Perhaps we could have an angel positioned on Earth to help vanquish evil from the ground up?  _ It was a convincing argument, which is why Aziraphale was appointed to guard the gate. And we all know how good of job he did...

“So, cheese fries, burger, chocolate shake. What else do you like up here?” Gabriel asked, munching on some of the last bits of his onion rings. 

Beelzebub was surprised at the question. They smiled and thought. “Well, french onion soup is really good. When the cheese is thick and the broth is fatty. Delicious! And, ah..velveeta mac and cheese, ambrosia salad; although, it was the best in the 50’s. People don’t make it the way the used to..” Beezie was half asleep in a food coma next to the Prince, who lovingly ran their fingers over his head, causing little  _ bz bz bz _ to slip out. 

“Right, well…,” Gabriel’s voice was nervous. Cautious. Afraid to finish the sentence. “..perhaps next time we could go somewhere and I could try that.” His face looked neutral despite the uncertainty in his voice. 

Beelzebub stopped petting Beezie, frozen at the question. “Zeriously?” Their voice wasn’t harsh, but the question alone seemed wrong. 

Gabriel remained still, fighting the urge to straighten himself. “Yeah, this was... _ fun.”  _ The word “fun” in reference to the Archangel Gabriel and the Prince of Hell casually hanging out had  _ never _ been said before. 

Beelzebub shook their head and began petting their fly once again. “It waz...and I would like to do it again.”

“Really?” Gabriel’s eyebrows rose in surprise. Did that just happen? 

“Don’t ruin it,” the Prince scolded. Admitting they enjoyed the company of an angel was bad enough, they were not going to justify it with an affirmation. 

A smile crept onto Gabriel’s face. “Fine, fine. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.” 

Beelzebub forced their mouth to stay firm, but a soft pink began working its way up, spreading out across their chest, up the back of their neck, gracing the tips of their ears, and the tiniest of color topped their cheeks. The feeling was warm and sweet. The Prince wanted to deny its existence, but that’s a difficult thing to do when you’re reveling in it. 

Maggie returned to their table, clearing it of their empty plates. “Anything for dessert?” Beezie, who was passed out, perked up immediately at the mention of sweets. Beelzebub looked at their fly, who was already a bit more pronounced than when they came in, and then at Gabriel, who was of no help in this department. 

“Uh, got any cheesecake?” Beezie protested with an angry  _ bzzzz! _ “Strawberry cheesecake?” Happy  _ bzz! _

“Sure thing, love. Two?” Maggie turned to Gabriel who didn’t understand the question. 

“No, Mags. Just one. Two zpoonz, please.” The young girl smiled and disappeared behind the counter. 

“Did the  _ Prince of Hell _ just say ‘please’?” Gabriel was impressed, but his tone was more sarcastic. He had been too distracted by his misery earlier to notice they had also said ‘thank you.’ 

Beelzebub didn’t appreciate the call out. “ _ Lizen _ ..”

“Oh, I am!” The words came from an unangelic grin. 

They rolled their eyes. Beezie found a home under the Prince’s hands and was absorbing their warmth. “The service industry iz a product of Hell. One of the few things Crowley did right before  _ literally everything else went wrong _ . The workerz are verbally abused by their patrons, no matter how busy or zlow it iz. Their lives are miserable enough. Just because I’m evil doesn’t mean I don’t have a heart.” 

Another chord stuck within the archangel. Whether it was the identification of how Hell’s products cause damage, or the fact that their actions have an impact he wasn’t sure. He didn’t have long enough to ask  _ Beelzebub, why did you fall?  _ because Maggie had returned, plate in hand. 

“Alright, here we go. One piece of strawberry cheesecake and two spoons.” She smiled as she set the gelatinous mess in between the couple and individually handed each of them their utensil. “Enjoy.” 

Beezie smelled the sugar and began to float up from under the Prince’s hand. “Not zo fast,” Beelzebub warned. “You have to wait.” The fly protested  _ bzzzzzz _ , like a whiny child. “No. You’ve had enough. Gabe and I get to eat first and you can have anything leftover. Lazt time I split a piece with you my neck hurt for a week.” Gabriel let out a chuckle at the thought of that. “What?” 

The chuckled morphed into a full belly laugh. “He got so fat your neck hurt for  _ a week?  _ Bwahaha!!” Beelzebub was confused at the sight of the laughing angel, but they enjoyed the look. The warmth flickered in their chest once again. 

“He likes food, what can I zay? Why do you think hiz favorite babyzitter is Aziraphale?” 

The laughter stopped. “Are you serious?” 

Beelzebub shook their head, driving their spoon into the cheesecake and bringing it to their lips. “Nope.” Gabriel began laughing once again, this time drawing Beelzebub in to. The two beings, two rivals, two  _ enemies _ laughed over the state of the rotund fly. Beezie did not appreciate the joke. He sat angrily between the arms of the Prince, who was laughing so hard their hand hit the table a few times. Gabriel had tears in the corners of his eyes. He wiped them away, letting his hand fall onto the table, gently gracing Beelzebub’s. It remained there for a few seconds before either of them really understood what was happening.

It was Beelzebub who realized first. Bright crimson engulfed their cheeks. Their mouth froze shut and they were no longer laughing. Beezie could feel the tension in the Prince bubbling up and boiling over as each of their muscles constricted, forcing them still. Gabriel’s laughter died down with the new quiet that fell between them. A quizzical look found a home on his face, only to have his unspoken question answered by the feeling under his hand. 

_ Fuck me.  _ Gabriel jerked his hand away. The archangel fumbled with his words; they spilled out sheepishly, “Shit...I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I wasn’t thinking…”

“Put it back.” 

They were both stunned at the statement. 

“What?”

_ What?  _ “I said ‘put it back’.” Beelzebub’s voice was soft but firm. Was this was they really wanted? Or was it just intriguing to them? 

Gabriel looked frightened, as if he was just told to put his hand in snake-filled jar. He did as requested and returned his hand on top of theirs. In doing so, his body began to stiffen, and pink found home on his face too. 

When Maggie returned with their check and two glasses of water, she found these two idiots  _ very _ awkwardly holding hands, both pink as pigs, and saying nothing. “Hhhhhere you go, love. Take as long as you want.” The young girl darted away, leaving the two as quickly as she arrived. 

Beelzebub and Gabriel remained like that for a few minutes, sitting silently as Beezie went to town on the abandoned cheesecake. As they sat, both began to relax, allowing their muscles to thaw with the warmth from the other. Once Beezie had finished, he lay on his back, proud and victorious of his accomplishments; his belly had almost doubled in size, meaning Beelzebub would have to carry him in his arms like a baby to avoid their spinal column collapsing. 

With their free hand, the Prince looked at the bill, retrieved two fifty pound notes from their breast pocket and left them on the table. Beezie began to snore, gently breaking the silence between them. 

“So...you good?” they asked. 

Gabriel’s face stayed the same, boring, neutral expression. “Yeah. You?”

“Yup.”

The archangel let go of their hand and stood. Beelzebub scooped up Beezie. “Thank you, Maggie.” 

The young girl looked up from behind the counter and smiled. “Bye, Beez! Take care, Beezie! Nice meeting you, Sir!” 

Gabriel nodded and the three of them walked out. (Well, two of them walked. Beezie was in full-blown coma mode, so Beelzebub had to carry him like the spoiled infant he is). When they got outside, Gabe stretched his back. 

“Zo, you going back to do cardio?” the Prince asked. 

“Yeah, I was planning on it. Got to work off all those cheese fries.” 

Beelzebub nodded. “Right...want me to walk you back to the park?” Gabriel was surprised. Did they really just ask that? Was he going to answer honestly? He couldn’t lie, but angels have been able to get around that before. 

“Sure.” 

The Prince of Hell and the archangel Gabriel walked silently back to where they came from. Beezie rested in the crook of the demon’s left arm, happily snoozing away. Their right hand dangled beside them, swaying as they walked. Gabriel’s hands did the same, and as the two walked, they inched closer together. It wasn’t long before the back of their hands brushed and they each lost a bit of their breath. When it happened a second time, Beelzebub reached out, taking Gabriel’s hand in theirs. The archangel, who was already at a loss of words, remained silent as he and the Prince of Hell walked back to the park hand in hand. 

God, who had been watching from the beginning, smiled.  _ Ah, my two idiots.  _ Every story had to start somewhere, right? And what better than over a good meal.  _ Faster than the boys, at least… _

When they reached the park, Gabriel paused at the bench where he had found Beelzebub. “Thank you.” 

They looked up at him, a bit confused. “For what?” 

“ _ This. _ Today. It was nice.” Gabriel dropped his head, his eyes falling on their hands together.  _ Soft _ . 

Beelzebub muttered, a bit embarrassed, “Yeah, whatever…” They tried to play it cool, but they were still holding the angel’s hand. “How’s Friday?” 

“Friday?” 

Beelzebub smirked, “You said pick a time and place. Friday, lunch?” 

The angel thought for a moment. “Ok.”  _ It’s a date.  _

The Prince looked at their hands, internally winced, and let go.  _ Why did that suck? Was it supposed to suck? _ “Good. Meet me here?” 

“Alright. Sounds good.”  _ It’s a date.  _

“Do  _ not _ come after cardio?” they hissed. “I don’t need you zmelling like sweat.” 

Gabriel laughed. “I’m an angel. I don’t sweat. And I don’t smell.” 

Beelzebub rolled their eyes. “Yes, you do.” 

“Ok, fine. No cardio before. Anything else?” The Prince thought about it for a minute, and shook their head. “Alright, then. It’s a date.” Gabriel was feeling bold. As the phrase left his lips, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on Beelzebub’s cheek. As he ran away, he screamed, “OK, BYE!” fleeing like the chicken he is. 

Beelzebub wanted to chase after him, but thought better of it because Beezie was still in their arms. A hand rose to their cheek and grazed the skin that the angel had touched. The Prince allowed a smile to creep onto their lips as the warmth seeped from their chest and filled out all the best places, practically turning the tips of their ears purple.

_ It’s a date.  _

**Author's Note:**

> After Gabriel left Beelzebub at the bench, he ran for about twenty minutes before the eggs kicked in. The archangel didn't recognize the feeling in his corporation and ended up puking all over himself. He was too sick to miracle himself well, so he spent three days in Heaven as both ends of the digestive system taught him to trust your waitress when they tell you not to order something. 
> 
> On the second day, a bottle of ginger ale and a box of saltines appeared on Gabriel's nightstand. The note wasn't signed, but it read, "Drink this. Trust me. Only eat these if you feel ok." Beelzebub didn't know if their care package had made it, that is until a few days later when a plate of cheese fries were waiting on their desk with an angelic "Thank you" note. Beezie was upset there wasn't a piece of cheesecake, but the Prince of Hell smiled while they ate their spoils of war.


End file.
